Sticky Pessimism Revisited

By Dr. Russ

To rid ourselves of pessimistic moments we need to have an effective, internal dialogue that not only neutralizes the negative, but also fills us with positive thoughts that renew our self-confidence and belief we can meet the day-to-day or even more difficult long term challenges of life.  

Sometimes as we sit facing the hour, day, week, or month we feel a significant tinge of pessimism, some uneasiness, worry and general anxiety.  When this happens to me: I ask myself, "Can an optimist feel pessimistic?"  I answer with a resounding “Yes!” Optimists are human and thus have up and down moments.

• I remind myself it is not about feeling optimistic or pessimistic in any given moment, but it is about recognizing how I am feeling in that moment and managing myself back towards optimism and a positive attitude with speed and agility.

But, some pessimistic moments last longer than others, and some are downright “sticky,” like trying to get gum off the bottom of your shoe.   

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE PESSIMISM FEELS LIKE GUM ON YOUR SHOE?

Perhaps YOU are worried about upcoming deadlines or events; a report is due, a job interview has finally been scheduled, you are giving a speech to a hundred persons tomorrow, parent teacher conferences are scheduled for this evening.  If you find yourself catastrophizing about anyone one of these, you need to replace that negative, “sky-is-falling-thought” with, “no matter what, I will have to take what the day God gives me and move on from there to face the next challenge.”

SOME GUM REMAINS

Sometimes that “just-take-the-day-as-it-comes” thought just doesn’t work, even though it has in the past.  We might be looking forward to an upcoming trip, a birthday or dinner party, or starting a new job after being unemployed.  All of these should provide joy and a positive outlook.  But instead we find ourselves worrying about the expenses of the trip, who will attend the party, and whether or not you could get laid off again.

 DARN GUM IS STILL THERE 

Sometimes, before our minds can pick the gum off the bottom of the shoe and put that gum into our mental trash can, we get lost in thought about a past, but similar life event.  We remember the “trip-from-hell”, the party that flopped, or a friend who got laid off two days after he started the new job.  When we go “back-to-the-negative-future,” the gum is indeed difficult to get off. 

So here are some suggestions to make the GUM GONE!

Ten “Optimism-Now” TIPS to rid yourself of “STICKY PESSIMISM”

1.    DO NOT DENY THAT YOU HAVE GUM ON YOUR SHOE! Admit to yourself you are having some pessimism.  Better to feel it, embrace it for a moment, explore it, and talk to it than to push it away and say, “Oh, I’m supposed to be optimistic, I can’t allow myself to feel down and out.” 

2.    CAPTURE YOUR WORRISOME THOUGHTS.  Once acknowledged, try to capture possible worrisome thoughts, ones that create a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. 

3.    USE YOUR INTERNAL SELF-TALK dialogue to explore this negative thinking. 
 Ask yourself: “What triggered this thought.”  “Is it something from the past that is resolved?  If so can I just put it out of my mind right now?”  If not, “Can I think about it later when I have time to work on a resolution.”

4.    REPLACE THE NEGATIVE THOUGHT WITH A POSITIVE ONE. Think of an upcoming positive event, or of something from the past that made you smile.  Think about your gifts from God: your ability to breathe, your pet, children, grandchildren, the garden you tend or see all around, the rain and the blue sky. 
 

5.    EXPLORE the interplay of the positive and negative.  Remember as Pollyanna taught us, there is always something that could have been or be worse.  Every negative has a silver lining.  The first place to look for a silver lining is in the “opportunity for learning.”

6.    RECOGNIZE and accept that some pessimism is darn “sticky.”  But don’t be overwhelmed or give in: keep up the self-management tool of the internal dialogue.

7.    ALLOW for a little catharsis, some teary moments.  Then wipe the tears away and move on.

8.     FOLLOW the advice of Dr. Norman Vincent Peale from The Power of Positive Thinking.  He says: “No other idea is so powerful in developing self-confidence than to simply affirm “God is with me; God is helping me; God is guiding me.”  He suggests spending several minutes each day visualizing God’s presence.

9. DR. PEALE also gives this very simple advice: “Feelings of confidence depend upon the type of thoughts that habitually occupy your mind.  Think defeat and you are bound to feel defeated.”  Usually that gum on your shoe has a label that reads “DEFEATED.” Practice thinking confident and positive thoughts throughout the day.  You will find it easier to practice these thoughts when you are in a positive state of mind, rather than when you are feeling down and out.

10. DR. PEALE TELLS US: “Ten times a day repeat these dynamic words, “If God be for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).  For more Optimism Now, repeat these words slowly and confidently over and over 10 times.  While saying them to yourself or out loud, visualize God standing next to you as you start working on a problem or dealing with some negative circumstance of life.  See the problem become small in the face of God’s presence.

Circumstances, Reality and the Problem of Being Real

Problems as Circumstances

Perhaps the most famous American optimist of the 20^th century was the Reverend Norman Vincent Peale, author of the book series The Power of Positive Thinking.  One of our favorite stories from Reverend Peale’s writings addressed the most frequent complaint he received from his congregation and listeners worldwide.  The question was:

• “Dr. Peale, Dr. Peale – Can you please tell us how to get rid of all of our problems?”

Dr. Peale’s consistent response was:

• “The day you get rid of all of your problems is the day you are six feet under.”

Dr. Peale viewed problems as God-given circumstances of life to which we could apply our God-given talents, gifts, skills, abilities and creativity to find solutions.  For him, problems were the very breath of life, the way we know are alive!

Numerous scriptures serve as a foundation for Dr. Peale’s view of the circumstances of life.  Two New Testament verses that we find particularly germane to this discussion are:

• 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

• James 1:2-3: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”

Both of the above verses further reinforce the source of all life circumstances and the attitude we should take towards them.  Reality is not something to complain about, but is the food that God has provided for our self-improvement; the nourishment we need to continually learn and develop out skills and abilities.

The Genesis of Circumstances on Earth

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were presented with a lush and beautiful set of circumstances some that were designed to trigger temptation.  We all know that Adam and Eve made the choice to disobey God’s only instruction for living in the Garden.  That fateful choice was not a circumstance.

What happened next was the beginning of all circumstances here on earth.  Adam and Eve and all their descendents were banished to a life of dealing with difficulty, turmoil, pain and the temptation of evil.  They would live a life on earth that would end in death and return to dust from whence God made man.

The Reality of Becoming Real

In the children’s story, The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams, two stuffed animals--a Rabbit and Skin horse--discuss reality and the process of becoming real.   In the story, to be real is the hope and dream for all toy animals because it is then that they receive the gift of life.  The Skin Horse explains that becoming real is something that happens over time through the love of a child.  To go from the non-living to the reality of living requires a profound kind of love that goes well beyond the child’s need for a plaything.  Such life and hence reality-giving-love is completely selfless.

God offers us the chance to be real through His selfless love for us.  We know he has such unconditional love for us from John 3:16:

• “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son . . .”

The power of such love is explained by the Skin Horse when he tells Rabbit: 

• “Once you are real you can’t become unreal again, it lasts forever.”

The apostle John speaks about such everlasting life in the remainder of John 3:16 when he says:

• “. . . that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Christ’s sacrifice on the cross gave us the chance for life; a new reality of the spirit, prophesized in John 5:25:

• “. . . a time is coming and has now come when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God and those who hear will live.”

The Rabbit, like Adam and Eve, and Dr. Peale’s congregation all had concerns about the pain of becoming real.  There is no doubt that Christ suffered unbearable pain on the cross in sacrifice for our sins, in order to give us life and make us real again.  The Skin Horse further explains that when you are real, you not only do not mind being hurt, but you can’t be hurt despite time, aging, loose and baggy skin, the loss of hair or even an eye.

So yes painful circumstances are God-given, but God also gave us his profound and selfless love so that we could rise above the pain and suffering to endure through the circumstances of life.  Rejoicing in the God-given circumstances and love in order to overcome them is what makes us real, fills every moment with the everlasting excitement and suspense of solving our daily problems.



Optimism Tip of the Week from the New Testament Version of James

By Dr. Russ,

Tip of the Week:  Read James 1:2-18 to see what the Bible says about OPTIMISTIC STAMINA and ENDURANCE.  

Below, you will find two key sets of Versus from this section of scripture.

New Living Translation

Faith and Endurance

James 1:2-3

• Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

 James 1:12

• God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation.  Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised those who love him.

New International Version

Trials and Temptations

James 1:2-3

• Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

James 1:12

• Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

Explanation and Interpretation

I quote from two different versions of the Bible because one uses the word “endurance” and the other “perseverance.”  Both terms refer to “sticking it out through tough times.” 

How many times have I said regarding “Optimism Stamina” and in my “Thirteen Principles of Optimism” that optimists look forward to the challenges of tough times because they learn they can handle any circumstance if they “stick it out” or “keep persisting,” never giving up.  Further, I have opined that it is easier to raise optimistic children in tough rather that easy times.

I have quoted and paraphrased Norman Vincent Peale author of “The Power of Positive Thinking,” and famous preacher regarding his response to the many that came up to him over and over and asked: 

• “Dr. Peale, Dr. Peale, How do I get rid of my problems.” 

His consistent response was:

• “The day you get rid of your problems is the day you are six feet under.”

Dr. Peale urged his readers and listeners to rejoice in and embrace the problems of life as life giving because the more we learn how to and that we can overcome and solve simple everyday as well as difficult and complex problems of life, the more we gain in self-confidence, self-worth and yes OPTIMISTIC SKILL and STAMINA.



Optimists Learn the Innovative Mindset

By Dr. Russ

Monday is Dr. Russ Busster Day.  It is the day I offer-up some TIPS to help you BUSST-UP any pessimism standing in your way.  Today’s BUSSTERS are designed to help you move ahead with a new idea or plan that you have been contemplating, but have been putting off starting-up.  It is time to find or learn your "innovative mindset."

Is it time to start something new?  Do you have a new idea about a new way to do something at home or work, or some new product or service that might form the basis of a new, small business?  Are you holding back – fearful that the idea might fail or make you the “laughing stock” of family, friends, or co-workers?

A key feature of an optimist is an “enterprising mind” which is defined as a mindset for problem solving in a novel way.  Such a mind set requires innovation, creativity, and risk taking.  Risk taking means a willingness to acknowledge that failure and mistakes are not only possible, but are necessary for learning and advancement.

Yes, we can think of an entrepreneur like Steve Jobs who started building and selling Macintosh computers out of his garage.  Jobs is an example of a large scale implementation of the innovative mindset. But, really, I am talking about a mindset that is with us throughout every moment or the day as we try to solve life’s daily problems.

I try to follow in the footsteps of Norman Vincent Peale, famous preacher and author of many books on the “Power of Positive Thinking,” who said that the day we stop having problems to solve is the day that we are “six feet under.”  He advised that we embrace life’s daily problems as opportunities to exercise creativity and innovation providing a path for continuous growth and self-improvement.

Everyday problems are encountered as we get stuck in traffic, have to be up for several hours at night with a sick kid, misplace our cell phone, find out the plane is delayed by three hours, misplace our wallet or purse, run out of gas or have a flat tire.  Other problems may involve getting the dishes done, cleaning the house, or managing the family budget after a spouse is laid off from work.

Dr. Russ Bussters to Help You Start Something New or Find an Innovative Solution to an Everyday Problem.

 {Today’s Bussters are adapted from an article by Peter Drucker entitled, “The Discipline of Innovation” which appeared in Harvard Business Review, 1985}

1. Continuously look for sources of opportunity. 

• Recently, I was about to get on an airplane at 8:30 am when the flight attendants came out and said the plane had  mechanical problems and would not be taking off.  We were told go get in line and rebook the flight.  My rebooking was set for 1:30 PM.  Now, how to kill 5 hours?  I asked myself – "What opportunity did I have to get something done that I otherwise would not have gotten to for a few days?"    I had my computer and a writing project to work on.  By 1:30, I was well ahead of schedule on my writing project and arrived at my destination in time for dinner with a friend at 6pm.
• On a much larger scale is a story about the early years of IBM.  In the 1930’s, IBM was ready to produce the first modern accounting machine designed for banks.  But, in 1933, it was the depression and banks had no money for such a purchase.  Libraries, however, had money from FDR’s New Deal.  Thomas Watson, famed longtime CEO of IBM, saw and opportunity and sold the first machine to the New York Library system and eventually sold over 100 to libraries across the country.

2. Start small.

• What kinds of things have you thought about starting? A garden? An exercise program?  A weight loss program?  A scrapbook? Or a blog of your own?  Whatever it is pick one thing and start small.  For example, start with a small patch of  wild flowers. Start by going to several gyms and evaluating which one to join, or by exercising for 15 minutes for a week and then increasing to twenty and so on.  Eliminate one unhealthy or fattening item from your daily ingestion such as sugar.  Check the labels on the can for yourself, but drink two diet cokes a day instead of regular coke and you can eliminate at least 240 calories daily.  In thirteen days you will have consumed over 3000 less calories, and that equals one pound of weight. 
• Instead of spending $50 or $100 on the latest scrapbooking paraphernalia, take a few hours to go through some stacks of pictures and make a plan for your first scrapbook.  Thinking about blogging?  Start by spending a few hours or more per week for several weeks reading different blogs to get some ideas for your approach and content.

3. Hard work always tops genius and talent. 

• According to Drucker, “When all is said and done, what innovation requires is hard, focused, purposeful work.  If diligence, persistence, and commitment are lacking, talent, ingenuity, and knowledge are of no avail.”