Optimism is a Gift From Heaven

By Dr. Russ,

Making the choice to seek, find and accept God’s gift of optimism requires the wisdom to know that Jesus spoke the truth to his followers, the truth given to him by God from heaven above.

Reality

Optimism is a belief that gives us the mental and physical power to deal with the circumstances of life known as reality.  Pessimism is the belief that we are hopeless and helpless to make a better life for ourselves in the face of negative circumstances.  Pessimism is further fueled by the belief that we have little or no control over the negative thoughts and feelings that we experience daily. From the perspective of pessimism, we are not able to take the negative circumstance, trials and tribulations of life and make them work for the good of ourselves and others.  How do we avoid becoming absorbed into and completely overwhelmed by this negative life cycle of pessimistic belief?

Our only hope is Christ and the optimism that comes from navigating this world on His terms.  But, where do we find optimism and then hold onto it in the face of so much negative news in our world?  Whenever we tell others that we are in the business of teaching optimism we consistently are told: “Oh, we all need more of that.”   If so many people need more optimism, why don’t they have it?

Belief

First, we must understand where optimism comes from.  Optimism comes from within and without.  Our position is that optimism is a God given belief from without and above that is experienced and shared with others from within.  God gave us the possibility for optimistic belief when he sacrificed his only Son, Jesus Christ, for the sins of all humanity.  In that moment of sacrifice, we gained an opportunity to be redeemed by a the Savior, having our sins atoned for and thereby allowing us to shed the weight of guilt and negative emotions that come from a life lived on our terms alone.  Once freed of all this negativity we are then able to experience the joy contained in every moment of life no matter what the seeming trials, tribulations and pain therein.

While God gave us this gift, He did not guarantee that we would find it.  Like the Christmas gift hidden behind the tree or the Easter egg behind the sofa, we must make the effort to seek and find the gift.  Furthermore, we have choices about whether to open the gift and whether we like and treasure it as priceless, take it within ourselves, accept it as our own, and share it with others. Once we accept that Christ died to relieve us of sin and guilt, we are free to move forward with our new found optimism into the future, but we must continue to trust in the truth and shine the light of optimism on the path that Jesus gave us.

Choice, Wisdom, Truth and Trust

God's truth is to trust in Jesus and the word of God, to follow in his path and to model our lives more after Him.  God sent Jesus to earth so that we could see a living example of a perfect life that God wants us to live.   

Having shown us this example, He also had to give us the underlying belief that we could hope and strive for such perfection.  Thus, He removed the shackles of our negative beliefs born of our failures, shortcomings, wrongdoings, and yes, sins so that we could believe in the possibility of the Good News of Jesus Christ – that He died upon the cross taking all of our sins with Him.  

Meaning

That path was His life as a living example of how God wants us to live; one of loving others as ourselves and forgiving others just as we seek such forgiveness.  God does not promise that if we follow the Christian path that life will be easy.  In fact, we are told that it will be difficult and full of many challenges to overcome.  But, we are told that meaning in life is not derived from achieving the perfection of Christ, but from the striving and trying to live every moment of life according to His teaching; making incremental improvements every moment and day.  In so doing, we believe it is possible not only to find optimism in every moment of life, every day, but also to hold on to that optimistic view for an eternity.

Six Tips for Raising Optimistic Girls

By Dr. Russ 

Girls may be more at risk of developing pessimism and vulnerability to self doubt in the face of failure and difficulty than boys. He was recently explaining this phenomenon to a young 20 year old female who had started to have some grade troubles in her sophomore year of college despite putting in many hours of study. She had become overwhelmed, full of self doubt and low self-esteem never experienced before. 

The theory of female vulnerability to decreased optimism and self-worth in the face of failure goes something like this.When girls start elementary school they are developmentally ahead, on average, of boys in the core academic skills needed to do well in 1st-3rd grade, i.e., language and reading skills. Because they perform well on their school work, girls are told, “you are good at this,” “you have ability to do well.” Boys on the other hand, who are not performing as well due to this developmental difference, get more critical feedback and are frequently told they need to try harder. 

Girls quickly learn to associate academic success with having ability and failure to a lack of it. Boys learn to make a strong association of success and failure with effort.

What happens when girls run into academic difficulties, challenges and failure in middle and high school or college? Their first conclusion, “I must not be good at this.” A female friend of mine in college dropped out of pre-med after her first B. The consequences are quitting prematurely, seeking easier tasks, and/or losing significant self-confidence and self-worth. If this happens in middle or high school and the girls do not have another source of self-esteem found in sports or performing arts, they might direct their attention to getting self-esteem by attracting boys, while dropping their academic pursuits.

So as parents of girls - How can we help them develop an orientation towards school and life in general that places an emphasis on “learning goals” – the desire to strive to acquire new skills or master novel tasks, to develop and expand competence even in the face of set backs and failure?

Six Tips for Raising Optimistic and Failure Resilient Girls

1. From an early age talk to your daughter about the importance of taking on a challenge. Teach them that attempting the challenging task is more important than initial success.

2. Demonstrate and talk about the enjoyment of sustained effort, whether it’s untangling a ball of string, sticking with a jigsaw puzzle, falling back in “Candy Land” or “Chutes and Ladders,” or trying out for a new sport.

3. Provide greater verbal reward and encouragement for progressing on and mastering something difficult rather than doing something easy, quickly and perfectly. Don’t let them fall into the “ability-success” trap; emphasize “effort-success.”

4. Tie her self-evaluation to longer term effort and personal mastery rather than to moment-to-moment fluctuations in performance. Competitive youth, age-group swimming provides an ideal opportunity to teach this mindset because as parent or coach you can focus on improvement in personal times in any given event and over time while de-emphasizing fluctuations in “besting” other swimmers in any given race.

5. Have her take on more difficult tasks in reading, math, music, acting and sports, and emphasize that she can’t really improve without taking on more challenging and difficult “stuff.”

6. Teach her that life is like one big "jam session" - just a group of us getting together to have fun, learn from each other, and improve our skill!

Lip-Dub Proposal Generates Viral Optimism

Well, I already have wedding bells on the brain so I thought that I'd share something today that was sure to get you in the mood, too!

If you haven't seen this amazing lip dub proposal by now, it's about time! The video was uploaded just five days ago and already has well over 8 million views! 

It's a very well done proposal, but when you think about it, why exactly is it that this video has gone viral? Is it the genuineness of the participants? The love that is explicitly shown throughout? Perhaps it's the excitement of the element of surprise and sheer joy?

Whatever it is, Isaac Lamb struck viral video gold with this superbly cute engagement proposal!

Puppies, Weddings, and a Podcast Farewell (for now...)

This week in our last regular Podcast of Optimism, we discuss a tender moment of optimism brought to us by our rambunctious puppies, Sofie and Jasper, and learn how Jackie used her Optimism Stamina to overcome a brief Negative Moment of Bridal Drama!

Click here to listen in!

We also discuss our plans for the future, which include taking this summer off from recording regular podcasts. We hope to return with more details later this summer, and look forward to being about to spread our audio optimism to you once again! 

Cheap Family Vacations Full of Priceless Benefits

By Dr. Russ,

Are you ready for summer?  Are you thinking you can't have a vacation or fun with the kids because of the "down economy" and tight family budget?  As we approach the Memorial Day weekend and kick-off of summer activities, many of you may be looking for CHEAP BUT FUN, OPTIMISTIC, STAY-AT-HOME, LOW BUDGET VACATION IDEAS.  

The At-Home Theme Vacation

1. The key to this vacation package is identifying a theme that is fascinating and absorbs your interest; the more absorbing the more the optimism regeneration power.
2. This package requires more advanced preparation, planning and research than any of the others described below. 
3. Identifying the theme:  Travel and immersion in another culture provide ripe opportunities for becoming absorbed in the moment and rejuvenating optimism.  Other possible themes include some aspect of ancient history, Greek Mythology, the “wild west,” the 1920’s, 1960’s, or rock and roll, gospel or classical music.
4. In keeping with the Flex-Time Optimism Vacation Package, immersion in the theme can last for fortnight, a weekend, a day or two or just an evening.
5. Thematic Meals:  Go to you local library or search the internet for free resources on recipes associated with the theme.  For example, make Mexican dishes for breakfast lunch and dinner, or have an evening of French Cuisine (7 courses minimum) for that evening only vacation.  Invite friends or family; to stay on budget give them a recipe for a special appetizer, salad or dessert they can prepare and bring.
6. Thematic Activities:  While learning about meals at the library or on the internet, check out theme relevant activities.  If its Ancient Greece consider a pot-luck ancient Toga party.  Identify culturally relevant sites in your area to visit (e.g., a museum with an exhibit about some aspect of the theme or culture).  Use your library card to check out CDs, documentary movies, foreign films, films set in the culture, travel and other non-fiction books about the cultures customs, games and day-to-day activities, and literature characteristic of the culture or times.  Use these resources to plan activities such as dressing up in culturally appropriate attire or playing a favorite theme relevant game.  Plan to watch the films and read the literature; sometimes the readings could be done by one person around an evening campfire.
7. Lodging:  Camping can be done about anywhere in the world and you can pretend to be in Canada, France or Russia while in the comfort of your own backyard.  Family or Youth Hostels are available worldwide for really cheap prices as long as you do a little housework before leaving in the AM.  Pretend it’s a “hostel” and get the house cleaned, while you are at it!  Or, engage everyone in some elaborate roll playing and pretend you’re at some famous hotel.  Research the famous qualities of the place and recreate some of its customs (e.g., afternoon tea on the veranda; or chocolates on the pillow case with the covers turned down.)
8. An extra benefit:  No time wasted on travel to the destination or suffering from jet lag.

Local Sightseeing Vacation

1. Use internet, local library and publication resources to identify 14 different sites to see in the local community (within a 1 hour drive or closer).  If a site is worthy of a two or more day visit adjust your list accordingly
2. Obtain free literature describing the site so that whole family can learn together, in advance, about what to look for and expect at the site.
3. Activities:  Each day spend the morning and afternoon at the sight.  Use the evenings to attend a local free concert or hang out in the backyard playing some games, inside watching a “sight-related” movie or just cooking out and sitting outdoors. If you are doing the evening only Flex-Time-Package start with a quick home-prepared nutritious meal or take a brown bag or picnic to the venue and enjoy an evening of sightseeing as most venues are open until 8 or 9 in the evening.
4. Take pictures and videos of the site and your visit.  After the visit, post a favorite video on “YouTube,” put some pictures on Facebook, print out favorites and frame, post on the refrigerator, or start a scrapbook.
5. Meals: If possible take a picnic lunch to the sight; your budget may allow for an occasional lunch out at the local zoo or venue.  Make breakfast and dinner fun by cooking out on the grill or over the campfire, pancakes, waffles, all the fun stuff you don’t do everyday.  Have each family member pick a favorite meal they want – make sure they help with the preparation.
6. Lodging:  I particularly like the “camping in the backyard" lodging arrangement with a campfire, contained in accordance with local regulations, or a simple charcoal grill fire.  At the end of the day roast some marshmallows, make some s’mores, and talk about the day and the sights, sing a few songs and end up with a scary story.

Fun Filled At-Home Activity Vacation

1. This vacation package involves the most spontaneity and least amount of detailed planning than the other types.
2. You might include a few sightseeing trips (see above)
3. Make a list of twenty-five or more at home outdoor and indoor (rainy day activities) that you and the family can do together.  Water fun (squirt guns, sprinkler, inflatable pool, home made water slide); crochet, soccer, baseball, softball, foam football, badminton, darts.  Make sure you have plenty of stuff to do. For a whole day plan a morning and afternoon activity, and spend evenings around the backyard campfire. Camping out in backyard fits nicely if you want plan a tentative schedule, or just take some time after breakfast each morning to pick the activities of the day depending on weather and preference.  Occasionally make lunch and or dinner a picnic in a local park.  Evenings only? Start with a backyard cookout, then move on to one activity, then go to campout mode with fire marshmallows stories.  Raining? Move inside to watch a favorite video.  Once or twice order out for your Pizza and have a movie night.
4. Meals and Lodging: Check out the "sightseeing package" above.

Extreme At-Home Activity Vacation

1. By extreme, I don’t mean ultra-marathons or even marathons, but extreme physical activities for the sedentary life style including walking, running, biking, swimming, canoeing or even horseback riding.
2. This vacation package is best suited for adults and children 12 and up.
3. Use this vacation package to jump start a new family fitness routine or program.
4. Use the same free library and internet resources to plan your activities and days.
5. Activities: Identify trails to walk, run or bike for each day or evening.  Go to your local pool and start a challenge swimming program setting goals for and charting number of laps completed.  Check out an inexpensive canoe rental spot and see what the local riding stable might offer.
6. Meals: Same as above for the “Family Fun Package.”
7. Lodging: Same as above for the “Family Fun Package.”  Or, rent a spot for one or more nights at a local campground, set-up, go back home and walk, run or bike to the campsite.  Use the campsite as the hub for your daily physical jaunts.

 Explore the Unknown Vacation

1. This vacation package involves doing activities you and the family have never done before, but have thought “wouldn’t it be neat if . . ."
2. Go Geocaching.  Don’t know what that is go to geocaching.com and learn about it.  This activity could easily absorb the family for two weeks.
3. Go fishing.  Already fish? Go fishing at local spots you havn’t tried before.
4. Learn a new skill like scrap booking, photography, making videos, boating on local waterways, or take up a new musical instrument.  Get some lessons, practice at home, and have a party at the end to show off your new skill.
5. Make a list of local events, activities, free seminars at the library or community center, local plays, a movie or two. All of which you have thought about, but rarely or never done.
6. Stay at home/home improvement vacation.  Start and complete a new project around the house, planting a garden, landscaping, remodeling a room or two. House painting.  Involve the whole family;